Wednesday, 8 April 2015


“You should get first rank next time, second rank is for loser. Go for tutions to that XY teacher”

“You should get into the best college, just like your uncles daughter did, else it’s a shame for your parents”

“You should work with the top most MNC, what is the point of working elsewhere?”

“You should only do clinical subjects, non-clinical is not an option. Best is cardiology”

“You should do something about your skin. It’s too dark. Use lemon juice on your face!”

Sounds familiar?

It should! It is called unsolicited advice/ suggestions. Doled out by highly judgmental, often jealous and jobless people who do not know how best to mind their own business!

Advice is free and makes a lot of difference when we seek it, from someone we look up to. But when “suggestions “are piled on us from unknown and unwanted sources life becomes a living hell.

This unsolicited advice from anyone including a peer, a neighbor, colleague, or even the lady who sells tomatoes in the street corner is an integral part of our life.  Like a drop of ujala in water. Once you add it to water, it mixes quickly and effortlessly staining our clothes in sickly shades of blue.  Pretty much like an annoying totally uncalled for advice that stains our outlook.

These advices do not respect personal boundaries, preferences, opinions. It is often discriminatory, demeaning or outright hurtful
Being a medico, these annoying suggestions reach an all-time high immediately after UG
 Everybody is suddenly interested in the specialty I wish to do, making creepy faces if I fail to say “obs and gyne” or “pediatrics” because that is supposedly the best specialty for girls!

I occasionally come across male colleagues who are exceptionally talented in para clinical/obs gyne, but still chose “manly” ortho or sugery because of the sharp tongue and opinions from people totally unrelated to the field.

If Career is one hot topic among these inquisitive people…..marriage, babies and other embarrassing personal issues happen to be their forte.

They need to know why mango pacchadi was served at you wedding and not pineapple. Why is your wedding saree so expensive? And if its not so expensive, why is your wedding saree cheap? You get married only once! They say pink is your color because you are dark, and will help distract the crowd. They compare and complain on everything from the parting of your hair to the length of your toe nails suggesting alternatives that they saw elsewhere.  Mind you, some of these “talks” happen on the stage, where a whole lot of other people stand in a Q quietly observing the verbal exchange and phony smile and drawing their own inference. You may want to punch them in the face, but no the camera is all over you and the photographer charges a bomb so you can’t waste candid pics on this blabbering “unknown” individual
The very next day after marriage, as some of my friends confessed, the annoyingly inquisitive person has the audacity to ask for the “good news”. And hence starts the “good news” period. Been a month no good news?? Oh how sad. You should see this doctor..blah blah..  The newly married girl is not mother Mary, or Kunthi Devi to miraculously conceive. Dear somebody who knows everything, you should also know that such things take time. Besides there is something called "planning" and preference, which i hate to break it to you, but is none of your frigging business! 

They offer endless suggestions, call it the life (ruining) advice not just to us but also to our parents who are responsible adults. They are responsible for more than half the fights I have with my parents regarding trival tv shows to the courses I want to apply. The clothes I wear to the friends I have, nothing escapes “their business” zone. It is like being on the Truman show or Big boss.

That’s how good their surveillance is. If they could channelize this energy onto something productive, I think they would make the best “surveillance team” for detecting communicable diseases. Department of community medicine, your attention please.

I’m pretty sure even if they happen to meet superman, they would suggest he wear his flashy underpants beneath his blue body suit and also advise him to wear airy costumes so he can have healthy sperms and hence healthy babies. Because life is all about babies.

Stay a safe distance away from our air space dear superman.


  1. Our society needs this intervention! glad to know that you feel exactly the same as I do.. you put it out perfectly. It's an anger we all go through but sadly I see we all turn into the same as our elder generation... and I feel its more of a frustration that makes us uncomfortable with what others are doing. The aim is to be happy from within first. I strive to make my future good and try to be an inspiration.. I hope we all can strive for the same and not turn into those uncle and aunties that our next generation will hate.. lol!
    Loved your blog! hope to read more soon! :)

  2. Drop of ujala simile is brilliant! And
    Great read!

  3. Nicely articulated mam... This is the common problem most of the people face.. in fact our society criticizes more than any one else..