Im 23, 4 more months and i will be done with college,a seat to a pg course is somewhere in the near future, A horoscope thats is pretty screwed up, cousins younger than me about to be hitched, aunties and uncles who have "my best interest" as their prime concern who egg my parents further until they finally decide i have to get married!! and to sort it all out and to help my family with the same comes the most savy, Bharath matrimony, and a bunch of other matrimony sites.
I totally hate these online matrimony portals. Some random person expresses interest, and courtesy demands you do the same..numbers are exchanged (so are badly photoshoped pictures) and somewhere along the line things go off like the fizz in a bottle of cola opened 2 hours back.
Every time im shown some profile of a potential groom, my highly judgmental part of the brain become overactive. Every single line i read, ends with the same thought "bull shit".
98% of the profiles i come across have almost identical description about the guy in question. "god fearing, soft spoken, homely boy" wait a second! this is where you begin to select a groom based on the principle of exclusion. I most def do not want the god fearing soft spoken homely boy!
First - God fearing??! who fears god? the one who commits sins. so does it imply the prospective groom commits sins on daily basis? or does it mean he does not commit ANY sin just because he is scared of some invisible presence on top of his head keeping a watch over him and his deeds 24/7?? Either way not good! what im actually looking for is someone with a conscience, who does what he does not because its the expected behavior, but because he believes in him and his deeds to do no harm to those around him. Now common thats not too much to ask for?
Second- homely and soft spoken. sorry!
how did life come this far? we evolved obviously. we learnt to face the struggles that life throws at us, we fight, we establish territories, we create boundaries and we rule. Had our cavemen remained passive to what fate had in store or them, we probably would still be living in caves and mountains, guarding ourselves from the wild with fire from the stone. Again is it wrong to look for someone who shows traits of being able to evolve,. and this most commonly used expression hold good for women too.!
This does not mean im looking for some wandering hooligan who dominates and thinks the world is his head, rather someone who respects fellow human being and their space. who can be considerate and diplomatic but at the same time is not afraid to raise his voice when he is wronged.
After all this description about the guy, comes the demanding part.
Looking for "Tall, beautiful, slim, fair,homely,well cultured girls from decent families" then my head says, why don't you add, 36-24-36, blond or read head, rai's face, Madhuri's smile, Paris Hilton's brains and can still look like a traditional doll in strategically draped saree?? Never mind the guy looks like the uncle you see around at malls. IF you want a doll go buy one jackass!
some demands go a step further to border on near selfishness when the look for a bride "who can support the groom, make him happy,look after him and his family at the same time help HIM achieve his goals!" well just so you know mister, the girl has a family too, she has her own dreams and whimsical fancies..she is not your "talking ginger" or "talking tom" who you gradually loose interest in just because another app comes around!
My online profile is hilarious too! Describing me in those exact same words i mentioned before. everything that i am not. But why does this have to happen??
Every one lives to fulfill the needs of the other. First you assess what is in demand and then you manufacture goods accordingly, thats basics of business. Business that now also includes matchmaking. If tall, fair, slim ( the magic adjectives) is what you want, then that is what you will get. some how the bride / groom miraculously have to change accordingly, because anything less will become a compromise.
Marriage is no more the sacred, family affair it was ages ago. Its now reduced to choices. This web site or that. this boy or that, giving true meaning to the phrase you choices make you what you are! Of course the old ways might still exist you say, but judging by the success of these online matchmaking sites i doubt that with a biig question mark!