“You should get first rank next time, second rank is for
loser. Go for tutions to that XY teacher”
“You should get into the best college, just like your uncles
daughter did, else it’s a shame for your parents”
“You should work with the top most MNC, what is the point of
working elsewhere?”
“You should only do clinical subjects, non-clinical is not
an option. Best is cardiology”
“You should do something about your skin. It’s too dark. Use
lemon juice on your face!”
Sounds familiar?
It should! It is called unsolicited advice/ suggestions.
Doled out by highly judgmental, often jealous and jobless people who do not
know how best to mind their own business!
Advice is free and makes a lot of difference when we seek
it, from someone we look up to. But when “suggestions “are piled on us from
unknown and unwanted sources life becomes a living hell.
This unsolicited advice from anyone including a peer, a
neighbor, colleague, or even the lady who sells tomatoes in the street corner
is an integral part of our life. Like a
drop of ujala in water. Once you add it to water, it mixes quickly and
effortlessly staining our clothes in sickly shades of blue. Pretty much like an annoying totally uncalled
for advice that stains our outlook.
These advices do not respect personal boundaries,
preferences, opinions. It is often discriminatory, demeaning or outright
hurtful
.
Being a medico, these annoying suggestions reach an all-time
high immediately after UG
.
Everybody is
suddenly interested in the specialty I wish to do, making creepy faces if I
fail to say “obs and gyne” or “pediatrics” because that is supposedly the best
specialty for girls!
I occasionally come across male colleagues who are
exceptionally talented in para clinical/obs gyne, but still chose “manly” ortho
or sugery because of the sharp tongue and opinions from people totally
unrelated to the field.
If Career is one hot topic among these inquisitive
people…..marriage, babies and other embarrassing personal issues happen to be
their forte.
They need to know why mango pacchadi was served at you
wedding and not pineapple. Why is your wedding saree so expensive? And if its
not so expensive, why is your wedding saree cheap? You get married only once!
They say pink is your color because you are dark, and will help distract the
crowd. They compare and complain on everything from the parting of your hair to
the length of your toe nails suggesting alternatives that they saw
elsewhere. Mind you, some of these
“talks” happen on the stage, where a whole lot of other people stand in a Q
quietly observing the verbal exchange and phony smile and drawing their own
inference. You may want to punch them in the face, but no the camera is all
over you and the photographer charges a bomb so you can’t waste candid pics on
this blabbering “unknown” individual
.
The very next day after marriage, as some of my friends
confessed, the annoyingly inquisitive person has the audacity to ask for the
“good news”. And hence starts the “good news” period. Been a month no good
news?? Oh how sad. You should see this doctor..blah blah.. The newly married girl is not mother Mary, or Kunthi Devi to miraculously conceive. Dear somebody who knows everything, you should also know that such things take time. Besides there is something called "planning" and preference, which i hate to break it to you, but is none of your frigging business!
They offer endless suggestions, call it the life (ruining)
advice not just to us but also to our parents who are responsible adults. They
are responsible for more than half the fights I have with my parents regarding
trival tv shows to the courses I want to apply. The clothes I wear to the
friends I have, nothing escapes “their business” zone. It is like being on the
Truman show or Big boss.
That’s how good their surveillance is. If they could
channelize this energy onto something productive, I think they would make the
best “surveillance team” for detecting communicable diseases. Department of community medicine, your attention please.
I’m pretty sure even if they happen to meet superman, they
would suggest he wear his flashy underpants beneath his blue body suit and also
advise him to wear airy costumes so he can have healthy sperms and hence
healthy babies. Because life is all about babies.
Stay a safe distance away from our air space dear superman.
